Side Note: Searching for good

I know this is not my usual Sunday night time-slot, but this is not my normal blog post. This is not the following chapter of my story that you might be waiting for (that will be here on Sunday).

This is a side note, a sentence hastily written between pages that turned into a fully fledged thought. It’s based on questions I have been asked by friends and family since starting this blog. Well, ‘question’ really. There is one that keeps popping up.

“How do you manage to write about the good things along with the bad?… How do you even see the good??”

The answer to this is simple. I CHOOSE to see the good.

I recently did the Academy (with Mel Wells) and she talked about life being a series of choices. It was like she had switched the light on to something that was always there for me but I couldn’t name it. I wholeheartedly believe in that sentence “Life is a series of choices”. I mean, wow! 

So, what does this actually mean? How do I choose to see the good?

Okay, take visiting my mother in a Psychiatric Ward as one example. She was severely ill and I was in foster care. Neither of us was truly happy and we were apart. Bad, right? Yes, it was. Let’s flip the coin though. My mother was getting the help she needed (GOOD!), I was able to visit her (GOOD!), the hospital grounds were gorgeous and fun to play in (GOOD!).

There is a lot of good in the world if you just open your eyes and see it. Seriously.

Today, I had massive amounts of anxiety which was obviously really bad. But what good things did I also have? Friends (and my boyfriend) who were there to listen, a job that distracted me for a few hours, music to listen to, a safe home to come back to, a cat to love, a boyfriend who is rushing home to me… The list goes on.

I was walking about earlier, feeling sorry for myself because of the anxiety, looking down at the dirty floor with litter on it and thinking “No wonder I feel so anxious” Then, I looked up! The sun was setting and it was absolutely stunning. That triggered my memory. 

Life is a series of choices.

I remembered that while I may not always have a choice in how I feel, I always have a choice of whether I want to focus on the good or bad in the world.

I choose to focus on the good. I always will.