Firstly, Happy Easter!
Whether or not you are religious, I think this time of year is quite reflective for most. It’s a time where everything reminds you of something, you look back to being a child and how you celebrated Easter.
Most people will look back fondly. So do I actually, even foster kids get Easter eggs.
Before I go off on a tangent, I would like to reflect on conversations my previous blogs have opened up. As usual, I will only use names of people close to me who don’t mind me mentioning them.
The first one I will mention really surprised me, it was with my girls from home- including Roxanne. They were really kind about my writing skills and content but also surprised at some of the things I had written; some because I’d managed to keep it that well hidden and others more because they’ve never known me to be so open.
This touched me but also shocked me as I hadn’t knowingly kept these things from my friends. I was just so used to hiding things about myself that even those closest to me have a tonne to learn.
Other conversations it opened up were a bit deeper. I spoke to one friend who said occasionally her anxiety makes her wonder if her children would be better off in care (FYI, they wouldn’t) and that my blog has helped her to see how extreme that thinking is. Others have spoken to me about their own childhood experiences and opened up a bit about how they grew up.
An absolute Goddess friend of mine, Christine, actually shared a bit about her life via a beautiful, raw and heartfelt poem. (Which she has allowed me to publish below)
As a little girl I sit in the corner and cry,
I watch my brothers as they smile and play,
No fears in their eyes as the days pass by.
I long for a hug or just someone to play with,
My parents are not home, they are out again,
If we get taken away, this family would be the fifth
I do not understand all that goes on,
I long for hugs, affection, smiles and love,
But mummy is out, daddy is asleep the blinds are drawn
This little girl has no idea what to expect,
Can not picture the future, stuck in the present,
Longing for the day not to feel anymore reject.
An innocent little girl, timid, afraid and scared,
Insecure, without a clue how to trust,
Little did she know with a great family she would be paired
Strong, brave and courageous she is,
A goddess inside and out, time for her to see
What makes her amazing like everyone else does
Time to stop blaming and beating herself up,
All she has gone through, all she has experienced,
Has who she has become, as she grew up
Grateful for those who stuck by her through the smiles and tears,
For those who helped her every step of the way,
Grateful for the life she is living, overcoming her fears
That is the one thing the people who have spoken to me about my blog and their lives have in common. They are strong, amazing, intelligent people.
I want to thank everyone who has spoken to me and asked me questions about my blog. This is why I am writing it, not for attention or validation but to hopefully help someone.
Childhood trauma absolutely does not have to dictate how you live now or what happens in the future.