Hello! I feel like it’s been an age since I last wrote a blog post.
Today I want to talk about why.
I unintentionally prolong my own illnesses.
You may remember that I was fighting the same flu on and off for quite a few weeks. This is mostly down to refusing to take time out to fully recover. Today I want to discuss why I do this and see if you can relate.
Before I continue, I do want to say that this post is not to encourage people to call in sick for every slight ailment or to cancel all your plans if you sneeze once. You know in yourself if you are well enough to do things or not. This is not permission to take the piss – for you or me.
My pattern is this;
Step 1 – Start to feel quite unwell
Step 2 – take appropriate painkillers/ medication while not slowing down at all
Step 3 – be forced into slowing down (by both my body and someone else)
Step 4 – Feel guilty and return to full speed before fully recovering
Rinse and repeat until my body will not allow me to do anything until I recover.
Why not just slow down and recover when my body asks (Step 1)?
The simple answer is that I feel guilty when ill for the following reasons;
1. I let past stories get in my way*.
Growing up, my mother was always in and out of the hospital. She was so ill that she couldn’t work for most of her life.
When I get sick, it’s totally different but the memories are there. The accusations in my own mind start “you can’t hold down a job.”, “you’re destined to struggle with your health”, “everyone thinks you should just quit before you fail”, etc.
*Can I just point out that this story doesn’t even belong to me?
2. I convince myself that everyone is judging me.
The negative self talk is strong when I am unwell and I am more likely to believe my inner bitch about what others are saying… Which gives me anxiety and makes me feel even more ill.
In reality, it is most likely that nobody is saying anything but if they are it’s not really my business.
3. If I have to take time off work or cancel plans, I convince myself that I will be sacked/ sacked off.
Again, if I took the piss then maybe this would come true but I don’t. Most people are genuine people – me included.
What part of any of this is conducive to taking care of Happy Body Island? (see previous post)
The answer is, none of it. None of this self talk or behaviour is helpful in any way.
So, now I am here calling myself out on my shit; let me tell you what I plan to do about this.
I plan to listen to my body and mind properly.
Yep. That’s it.
I am going to listen properly and act on the hints I am being dropped. Such as, if I am feeling exhausted I will up my sleep and if I don’t feel well enough to do all of the things all of the time then I will put something down until I feel better.
I am hoping that in the long run this will make me healthier and less likely to have to put things down.
I will keep you posted.
How do you cope when you’re sick? Do you look after yourself properly or do you continue at a speed that is too fast?
What can you do differently for yourself?
Apologies that this is a short one today, I am shattered again and am listening to my body.